I'm so, so grateful for these past five months in Mexico. I wanted this scholarship so much and I wouldn't go back and change a thing about my decision.
But, as you can expect, it hasn't always been daisies and roses over here.
My immune system does not thrive in Mexico.
Since arriving to Puebla, I've gotten sick seven times:
A miserable cold two days after arriving
A stomach infection (mild, at least) in mid-September
A respiratory and stomach virus in late October
Food poisoning in late November
The flu (or something like it) in mid December
A terrible stomach infection in early January
A cold in late January (aka now)
I hate to complain. I really do. But I've gotten sick so many times here that it is just embarrassing. Besides that, it's really discouraging and makes me feel like something about my body is not working. Is my immune system good for nothing? I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, I try to get sufficient sleep, I exercise, and thanks to Mexican culture, I wear a mask in most indoor public places.
I've started to feel like I shouldn't even make future plans, because there's a chance they won't be able to come to fruition due to some sort of illness that will get me.
To be fair, I got sick quite a bit back in the States, too. In my senior year of college, I had mono (the WORST) and two colds in the fall semester, and then the stomach flu (right before my senior recital (!!!)), COVID (the nicest hotel stay I've ever had--or maybe not), and another cold (for graduation!) in the spring semester. Over the summer I got a bunch of short-term viruses that really frustrated me.
I don't know why I get sick so often in general--it could be that mono really messed me up bad, or maybe there's something else I don't know about myself, like a deficiency or just something in my genes.
In Mexico, people believe you get sick for several reasons, one of the most important being cambio de clima, or the change in weather. Going from a hot part of Mexico to a cold part or vice versa is sure to give you gripa (common term for the flu but also used to describe most illnesses here, too). Or, going outside or to bed with wet hair, or going out in the rain and getting wet, hence chilling your body--these are recipes for disaster here in Mexico. There are many other "old wives' tales" about illness here in Mexico, and I went into this foreign exchange thinking that I didn't believe in these theories because they aren't backed by science. But you'd be surprised at how often people say they get sick after going out in the rain or being cold. It doesn't happen for me, but maybe it is a uniquely mexicano experience.
In terms of stomach illnesses, well, doctors and friends take one look at me and say, "It's because you're not from here." This checks out--as much as I'd love to say I've built up a Mexican stomach, it seems that even the smallest bit of something (like salsa that's too fresh or been sitting out too long, or a heavy combination of spices and ingredients) is enough to send my body into a downward spiral. When I recently got a stomach infection, which caused me to miss the *mandatory* Fulbright midterm reunion in the beautiful, beachy La Paz in Baja California (I'm still upset about missing the sea lions and the fish tacos), the doctors and technicians I saw said, "Ah, pues comiste en la calle." I tell them, "I swear, I did NOT eat street food!" I think it was the salsa on my tacos from a few days before I started feeling sick (fruits and vegetables here must be washed with antibacterial solution before we gringas consume them, and this is not a guarantee with the tomatoes and veggies found in fresh salsas). My mom thinks it's the chapulines (crispy grasshoppers) I eat time to time, but I don't think a few bugs really can hurt me (who knows).
Besides this, when I got food poisoning in November, after I told everyone what I ate the day before (creamy broccoli soup, steak, cheesy potatoes, strawberries and cream, a michelada (beer with salt and lime), pulque (a former favorite Mexican alcoholic beverage, which I have not been able to stomach since), and part of a cheeseburger and fries (I know, gross)), they look at me with eyes that say, "Well, duh, you got sick!" But it's so hard to know what will do me in. Plus, Puebla is known for its amazing food, so not taking advantage of this feels almost sinful. I am being much more careful, though. My roommate and dear friend Ashlyn did not let me put chipotle peppers on my cemita last week (even though I begged and gave her puppy eyes).
I asked a doctor in Mexico why I get sick so often here. She said that it's because I'm in a different environment with a different diet. I guess she's right. I'm hoping to do some blood tests to figure out if there's something else I'm missing, but maybe being sick in Mexico is something I'm just going to have to get used to.
I can't lie, sometimes through all of this, I wonder if I should really be in Mexico or not. But I know I'm meant to be here, and the richness of the relationships and experiences I have here outweigh the struggles I have with physical (and mental!) health.
Coincidentally, throughout the awful stomach infection (I got an ultrasound to rule out appendicitis and a blood test to rule out salmonella), I was listening to the Bible in a Year on Spotify with Fr. Mike Schmitz (Catholics are often accused of not knowing enough about the Bible, and I can't argue too much with that), and we were reading through the Book of Job. If you don't know, Job suffers so much and is known to be a righteous man, and God is almost completely absent in the Book until the end, where He still doesn't give any explanation as to why Job is experiencing so much suffering. But in one episode of the podcast, Fr. Mike reflects on the connection between Job's inexplicable suffering and ours, and says: "Don't forget in the darkness what you know is true in the light." This really helped me navigate the depression I underwent during my illness and the feelings of weakness and hopelessness that plague me when I fall ill.
My mom reminds me that my Grammy used to say, "Maffucci women bend, but we don't break." Mexico, you've been bending me like I'm a Gumby doll, but I'll survive, and in the process, I'm getting to enjoy so much of what makes you beautiful.
Prayers, y'all, always.
Comentários